Quay's Top Ten Highlights Of The Freshman Year The year is basically over because I refuse to study for my physics final. So instead of doing things I normally do, sleep or sit, I decided to make a list of what went right my freshman year. This very well could be the worst list you ever read. Number Ten: How High & Black Knight How High was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Black Knight was ok. Despite the efforts of several of my "friends", Jeff was the only person that supported me, I managed to see the movie. It was a warm-hearted story about sticking up for what you believe in or some shit. Either way, there was a handful of very funny scenes and I do not regret the 90 minutes I spent watching it. And I guess that's good enough to make this list. Number Nine: Fat Joe Shirtless When I was watching MTV spring break I couldn't help being pissed off, the entire time. Then Fat Joe pranced onto the stage without a shirt. Good lord is he fat. His weight probably exceeds a metric ton. But know what? He doesn't give a fuck what you think. He is his own man, he does things that he wants to regardless of what you think, he does his own thing. And I respect that. I laughed when I first saw him, then I grew to appreciate him, then I laughed again when I saw his ass crack. Number Eight: Tasers Tasers are funny as shit. Number Seven: My House I wish I could find a picture of my house to show you kids how cool my family is. But, I can't so just deal with it. Number Six: Music Cee-Lo - Gettin' Grown Dilated Peoples - Worst Comes To Worst Number Five: This Guy Why is he in a diaper? And what is he so suprised about? Number Four: Short Hair For some reason I told some people that I'd grow out my hair starting the new semester. It has been about 4 months and I have never been so miserable. I miss having short hair. My hair is way too long and it is pissing me off. I don't even look like a real person. But I continue to let my hair grow out. Why? Leave me alone. Number Three: Seon-Ho Choi Easily one of my favorite people in the continent of North America. He definitely has his Seon-head right because his priorities are straight. If I could change one thing about myself right now, I'd cut my hair. After that, I'd try to be more like Seon-Role Model. If you have ever met Ho and can honestly tell me that you do not like him as a person, I will stab you in the face with a knife. End of discussion. Number Two: Durtle Durtle Daniels is an American hero. Durtle has probably been the source of 60% of my entertainment this year. Everytime I look at this picture I laugh. The idea that Derek would slip into such a ridiculous suit cracks me up. I was just dicking around when I decided to superimpose Derek's face onto this weird picture I found. When Dhivy saw it he coined the name "Durtle" and I have laughed ever since. If anyone can find a turtle suit similar to the one in the picture or if anyone knows someone that can taylor this costume I will pay them a dollar. Once we have this suit, then we can raid Derek's house and burn all his normal clothes and leave only the turtle costume in his closet. He'll be forced to wear it! Then we can kill him or laugh at him, whatever you want. Number One: Crossroads You may be asking yourself, "What could possibly be better than Durtle The Turtle Daniels?" or "Jesus, why did I read this whole list?". Either way you got here and the best thing I did this year was sign a lease for an apartment at The Crossroads. Next year will be disgusting. Urk, Rick, Eric, and I are gonna throw some ill ass parties. Ill meaning costume, ass meaning wearing, and parties meaning dinners. Matter fact, after this year I doubt I'll see anyone again. You may be saying, "Laughing out loud, I'll just stop by all the time then." I'd love for you to try that, seeing as we've already made plans for buying a family taser. I hope one of you little shits tries to come around. I will taze the shit out of you. Then I'll push your immobilized ass right down the stairs. In any case, this list was a waste of my time and yours. Especially because of how corny the number one was. So here's my real number one highlight of this academic year: And there you go. I'll see you kids somewhere and sometime and don't forget to... AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT? pace oot.